A friend last night asked me a question, one maybe I should ask myself more frequently for now on. “What’s your outlook on love?” Woah! I knew how to answer that, surprisingly. I flipped through my past, remembering the times I once had said “I love you/love you” to a guy/boy/man…whatever they were. How can you tell if you were in love or not? What qualifies being in love? Will you ever find love? Will I? Is it true love if it ends? That’s a mouthful and really shakes me. Headache preceding. Is it unknown? Does everyone have their own answer? It’s a matter of time for me. I hope one day it will come. One day my partner in crime will walk through the door and he will say everything right. Is it only a dream that I perceive if I want him to think the way I think and love his partner the way I want things to happen. Who cares! This isn’t easy to question yourself or even think about. I won’t ever again tell myself that I need a penis or a man or attention to be happy and enjoy life. To me, life is more complicated if your dating. Especially if they aren’t the one. If they aren’t the one, they dont desire you, they dont need you, then they are a flea. Women do not need a man to feel beautiful, good about themself, powerful or needed.
Cleanse yourself of these dirty and disastrous imputs that unreal reality wants us to believe. Im not hiding anymore. Im going with my gut.